In the last month, I’ve lost three people who have held a special place in my heart and the self-managed slower pace of my world has given me time to reflect.
Those who attended multiple Aussie Road Crew tours will know that many of us became as close as family so losing a treasured member is felt deeply. Our dear Val was a ‘Gold Roadie’ which meant she did more than 10 tours in her time. Val was well-loved and such a character, her nickname was ‘Two-Drinks-Val’ given that it didn’t take too many drops to get Val getting laughs and having a ball! With her piercing blue eyes and her caring heart, her sense of fun and adventure, Val quickly became a favourite among staff, artists and fellow Roadies. Her bravery and determination when faced with her cancer diagnoses was something I admired. She managed to shine a spotlight on pancreatic cancer and raise much needed funds for research. Astonishingly selfless when she knew that given her diagnoses, the prognosis wasn’t good.
Val, along with her daughter, Brianna, attended our Aussie Road Crew reunion last September managing to juggle her cancer treatment with flights and travel in order to attend. She was not missing the event and made it happen, that was Val! She was a doer. And it was all the more special to have her there.
I will miss Val as I know many will, people like Val make the world a better place, I am truly honoured to have known her. Rest easy friend.
Also passing within days of Val was one half of New Zealand’s favourite entertainment duo, Jools Topp of the Topp Twins. This loss was significant to me. I found myself needing a pilgrimage to Auckland to pay my respects and express my gratitude.
I first came across the Topp Twins at a festival in Queensland in the late 90s. I was already a fan having caught a few of their television shows on late night Aussie TV but to experience them live, and to share a backstage with them was such a thrill for me. I was a deeply closeted lesbian in a secret and controlling relationship with a straight woman and seeing these two out and proud entertainers comfortable in expressing exactly who they are had a profound effect on me. I’ll never forget seeing half a dozen short haired women exiting the Toppie’s backstage dressing room followed by Camp Mother and Camp Leader, dressed in hilarious outfits ready to entertain the Aussies. Those short haired women were their Aussie friends, their fans and looking back, they were my tribe.
About 20 years ago, I was heading to Auckland to meet up with Sara Storer who was on a songwriting journey. I was still in the closet but out of that bad relationship and certainly ‘out’ to my friends and family (lesbianly speaking!). I’d recently shed about 20 kilos and I was soul searching as well as looking for adventure. Sara had recently opened a few gigs in NSW for the Topp Twins and Jools had invited her to come and stay at her ranch just out of Auckland with her and her partner Mary. I guess Sar asked if I could tag along so there we were for the weekend, Lynda Topp also joined us.
I remember, once again, being in awe of these ‘out’ women. These massive Kiwi icons in their natural habitat, just being themselves. Not only that but I felt firsthand their generous spirits, their quick wit and their strong beliefs. I knew that our values aligned even if I didn’t have the words at the time. I’ll never forget saying out loud to the room that I could never come out and both Lynda and Jools said in unison “WHY?” I suppose hiding was never even considered for those two (nor their brother for that matter) and I realised that I would never be truly free until I came out. It wasn’t long after my weekend with the Topp Twins that I came out on national television to an unbelievably positive response.
The Twins documentary ‘Untouchable Girls’ was an incredible display of everything I admired about these women. Their humour, their activism, their country music and their generosity. So, to say I am a fan is quite the understatement. I quite often find myself singing their song ‘Untouchable Girls,’ the lyrics say everything about what it is to be strong, fearless and in control. Seeing Lynda singing her heart out on that song at the celebration of her twin sister was the moment I sobbed uncontrollably.
During my pilgrimage to the North Island of New Zealand to attend the celebration of the life of Jools Topp, I got to hug Lynda and tell her I was proud of her strength and her resolve. She must’ve been in a world of pain, but she shared so much of the journey with their beloved country. I wanted to bring my personal gratitude but also that of other Aussies whose lives were touched by the Topp Twins.
The day after the celebration, I met Tami Neilson and Marion Burns for lunch. Both women have toured extensively with the twins, and I loved hearing their stories, here the tribute continued and so did the festival of women supporting women.
On day three I took a ferry to Rangitoto Island where I climbed the summit of the volcano and silently expressed my gratitude to Jools. I caught the ferry back to Auckland where I had booked myself an appointment at one of Auckland’s most awarded tattoo salons. My plan was to have the title of my latest album, Through The Haze tattooed on my arm. I thought this would be a great way to mark my journey back from the brink after my divorce and the writing of some pretty heavy and revealing songs. Instead, I walked out of the tattoo shop with the word ‘Untouchable’ on my arm. The Topp Twins said it better than I ever could.
As I sat in the chair at the tattoo shop, I received a text that I had been expecting. Bill ‘Bumcrack’ Riley had passed. Of the 3 gone in the last 3 weeks, Bumcrack’s had been the fastest journey between diagnoses and death. Hearing he was nearing the end was a massive blow, I had only seen him a few short weeks ago. He’d looked sad when he attended my Sydney show so I convinced him to come to Katoomba 2 days later so I could hug him and show him some more love. I’m so glad I did and that he came.
Bumcrack had certainly cemented a place in my heart, he had a way of doing that with many. Like Val, Bumcrack was a beloved member of our Aussie Road Crew family. I first met he and his wife Chrissy when they won a meet and greet with me backstage in Bathurst, NSW. I remember how warm and friendly they both were and how I must’ve stared when Bill said “We are both coming on your road trip and apparently, we’re crossing the Nullarbor with you!” I was quietly horrified! There was a small group of women crossing the Nullarbor to meet the Aussie Road Crew WA tour and I didn’t know if this big burly bloke was going to be OK with a bunch of gals of our persuasion – let alone how I imagined the women would be with this bloke crashing the sapphic party!
Boy was I wrong! Bill earned his name of ‘Bumcrack’ from the amount of times he displayed his whilst assisting so many of us with everything from mechanics to caravan doors to fridge repairs, awning patching, you name it. We fell in love with Bumcrack instantly. Chrissy, too and over the years, after many tours, they found their way into our hearts. We said goodbye to Chrissy 2 years ago and that was such a hard goodbye. Little did we know that her Bill would be coming home to her so soon. There’s comfort in knowing they are together.
Bumcrack’s heart was one of the most extraordinary places I’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting. He never had a bad word to say about anyone. He accepted EVERYONE. He would give you the shirt off his back. He loved like a freight train and to be on the receiving end was a gift I will never forget and one that I will carry with me forever. Part of me wonders if his leaving so soon was because his heart was broken at losing Chrissy. This is why I need to believe that they are together again. And in my heart forever.
People come and go from our lives, but some leave an indelible mark. I know that I am a much better person because of Val, Jools and Bumcrack Bill (and Chrissy of course). I plan to honour their memories always.
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